Be careful what you wish for

So the phrase be careful what you wish for has been thrown around a lot in my life, more often that not it has been said by me to others though now, I am thinking it to myself.

I finally had the guy I am mad about admit how he feels about me (and yes it is the same), but he claims that he cant remember saying it because he was drunk, though he knows that I know him for 10 years and know that he only talks about personal things when he has been drinking and when it is bubbling up inside him for so long he's about to explode.

He says one thing yet we are both aware he means something more though he is not willing to commit for some unknown reason. He is the type of guy that though we argue like cats and dogs we are also always there for each other.

torn between two men

Ok! Wow been awhile! just to catch you up I broke up with the insensitive bastard who had relationship and commitment issues as well as truth issues and he was about as phased by it as I was :P I then went out with some friends of a friend and wound up being hit on by a guy I used to fancy, now we have been texting awhile but I just don't know what I think of him. I mean he seems genuine yet who knows these days. Then add on top of this the guy I work with who  I have amazing chemistry with yet I just don't know, I mean it's never a good idea to get involved with someone you work with, been there done that and got the t-shirt. Though, in saying that if it happened I wouldn't exactly say no but then what  do I do? Do I wait around and see IF something will happen with this guy and IF it does then what? Work mixing with personal life never ends well in any experiences I know of; and  what about this friend of a friend? Do I take a chance and go for it? Do I wait around and see what happens and just go with the flow? Or should I weigh up the options, especially as  I know for a fact that he is on the rebound and we are two very different people most of the time. Don't get me wrong we get on well and have a laugh but can two people who are as different as us work if it was given the chance? To me it needs further insight and thought.

How to choose between two men. . .

It is the situation that every women dreams of having, yet in reality it is possibly one of the hardest decisions a girl will have to make in relation to her love life. What do you do if you happen to find yourself in such a predicament? Most gossip sites and magazines would say to sit down and think long and hard about it, which I guess is right but how long is too long? Men wont wait around forever especially when they get the feeling that you are not fully invested in them. There is only so long someone will wait for a chance. Yes, it is not a decision that you can decide well if it doesn't work out with Mr A then I can always fall back on Mr B. To make the decision you have to figure out which one you would rather spend time with, having fun with, the one who treats you right and makes you feel good about yourself. If both of them do that, well I can just  say good luck to you and just follow your instincts. Listen to your gut and hey if it's wrong it's wrong but what is meant to happen will happen.

What do you do when your partner loses someone? Honestly there is nothing you can do but let them know you are there and will listen if they want to talk, cuddle when they want/ you think they need it and just be there for them in general. Everyone copes with loss in different ways some want to be left alone while others feel the need to be closer to those they love and all you can do is allow your partner to grieve as they wish and in time things will go back to normal, whether you are feeling suffered by them or ignored by them.

Distance

Men and women are completely different, yet when it comes to the question of distance we are essentially the same. Both like to know that the other is thinking about them while they are separated, and all this takes is a little text of a call just once even (depending on the length of separation time). Women like to know that they were missed and can tell this without the man having to say it. We're just that good! :P Yes a little present does go a long way in these situations but all in all let us know that you were thinking of us while you were away and this goes for women too, men like to know you missed them just as much as you like to know they missed you BUT not all men are smart enough to notice the extra x's put at the end of a text or the tone of your voice that to you screams I MISS YOU!!!, sometimes you just have to spell it out and tell them!

Boys, Men and women

This is mainly focused on Irish boys/men as in my experience the males of other counties seem to know how to win the females over and how to keep them interested and happy!

Firstly guys we DO NOT like it when you come up behind us and grab us in a nightclub, unless you are our boyfriend. It is not how to make us feel appreciated or wanted or attractive! It is a crude and disgusting way to get a girl to kiss you. It makes us feel like we are nothing but a pair of tits in a short dress! OK! yes we do often go along with this as we KNOW that this is the ONLY way that Irish guys know how to get girls! Well listen up and I'll tell you how girls really want to be won over by you.

We like to feel like you want more than just getting you leg over/getting it in, we want to feel like, yes you like how we look but that you also want to get to know us a little bit so that you can like us for who we really are rather for how we can make ourselves appear. I hate to tell you this boys but LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING!!!! The girl who is in the smallest skirt and who is dancing the dirtiest dance isn't always going to be the "sure thing" more often than not she is the girl who has the most insecurities to hide.

Women like to be treated like women not like sexual objects. . . unless were having sex but that is a different story! We like to be taken care of, brought out to dinner, to the movies. We like to feel like you are proud that your with us and that you want to show us off to the world. Introduce us to your friends, if things are getting serious, if the L BOMB has been dropped by one or both of you then introduce us to the family, I mean after saying "I LOVE YOU" it's about time that we meet the family!

Women do like to be treated to dinner and the movies and yes most girls love jewellery and flowers and chocolates but here's what most guys DON'T KNOW. . . we LOVE the little sentimental gifts even more! Things like going to the park to just be together and maybe have an ice cream (if it's sunny) or split a bag of chips, or gift wise find out what your girl likes before you buy her a present and if she knows that you have put some thought into it you will reap the rewards!

What's it all about!?!?!

Well it's been awhile but to catch you up on a few things I found out that my so called boyfriend is like the leopard and can't change his spots! I text him asking him to meet me that something had happened and I just needed him, I had just found out that one of my friends( who isn't your typical girl), may have lost her virginity, you know that feeling-woman's intuition or whatever they call it- but she didn't tell us, proving she doesn't trust us not to tell any one or even to explain a few things to her. It seems so trivial a thing but it just gets to you! But anyways he said he would meet me and as gay as it sounds I felt a bit better, I thought he was finally showing me that he did really care for me :) BUT hours later when my friends and I were heading to town to go out, and might I add he lives in town so could have walked 2 steps to meet me, he hadn't turned up. So I told him where we were going and asked could he still meet me and got no reply ALL NIGHT!!!! So I got  very very drunk and 12 drunk texts later about it STILL NO REPLY!!! and so now he is supposedly in England visiting family. Still no text from him but I am so pissed off and believe that he has shown EXACTLY how much he "cares" for me and that he has proved himself a liar! that I was right and he was only saying what he thought I wanted to hear!

So, now the question is do I follow my gut and just break up with him??? Or do I wait and see what excuse he gives or if he even bothers to give one??? To be honest if anyone got a text saying something happened I really need you and they did care about someone they would come no matter what!!!

Am I just a fool???  Can there be a reason for the no show and the silence??? Or is it just better if I cut my losses as I know that there are plenty of more fish in the sea???

The 'L' Word!!!

 A great man once said that "The greatest thing is to love and be loved in return" but I ask you What is love? This first thing that comes to mind is the lyrics of the song "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5G1FmU-ldg" Don't hurt me no more! Love is something that many say is indescribable! It is meant to be this magical feeling where nothing else matters but in reality it is a lot more complicated! Yes love is this strong feeling but there are different stages and types of love and what we figure out over the course of our lives is how to differentiate between these types. Some find this magical love young and others never find it! It can be elusive!

In a relationship one may feel a form of love before the other and there is nothing wrong with that but what comes into question is the type of love felt! Is it the love you feel for a good friend, for a family member, is it this big magical love that we hear so much about as kids or is it some muted form of this, where you do really love the person but it will fade into one of the other forms?

This is the most complicated part of a  relationship! LOVE!!! How do we find it or better yet how do we hold onto it once we do? These are the questions most people ask themselves and the answer is simple I don't know! Many people question the concept of telling another person that they love them as if and when you do you are leaving your heart bare you have opened yourself up completely to that person and have left yourself vulnerable. It is then up to that person to either love you back and fill up that space in your heart and inflate you once again or to crush you by not loving you like you love them. However, there is the middle ground where they may not love you YET! The yet is very important as they believe that the love may come or that they may be too afraid of being hurt to even admit it to themselves let alone to you!

If you are lucky enough to love someone and to be loved in return it is the greatest feeling in the world! If you are not then it will come and in many different forms and each one will be something that you will never forget! Or if you are like me and unable to conceive the notion that you may love the person who says the love you yet they are unable to show it then all I can say is keep it to yourself until you feel the time is right to express it!

Women and Gifts!!!

A lot of guys get this wrong!!! You'd actually be surprised how many! Women likes gifts that's a given but not just anything will do. We like gifts that show you know us. For most women flowers signify either  you did something wrong and feel guilty/think we found out/we found out and are pissed at you or you forgot the birthday/anniversary/valentines day or whatever the occasion is and this was what you thought would be a fail safe option! well you're wrong and you're right! Flowers, like jewellery can be personal for a girl some love certain types ie.roses the usual go to flower, and some girls hate certain types. Now I know your thinking how am I supposed to know a carnation from a hyacinth? I'll tell you how . . Don't just buy the usual crap they sell in the supermarket!! If your going to buy flowers go to a florist it's there job to make them look like you put effort into the present!

Jewellery can be a big mistake though is often another "fail safe" but some don't like it or have no where to wear it and don't usually wear it everyday, some have a very particular taste like vintage style or mad feathered earrings or even simple and understated! And don't get me started on rings!!! BIG NO NO unless you actually plan on marrying the girl DO NOT under any circumstances buy any type of rings-a ring from a guy is like a watch from a woman it is a symbol of love and commitment and a never ending bond between the two!

Underwear can be tricky to buy as there are all different sizes, shapes, styles, colours, ect. and what you would like to see on your partner may not be what she likes to wear. For example most men would love black or red lacy underwear and the smaller the better but not every female like them while others live in them. If you do choose to buy underwear do your research, look through the drawer to find her sizes find out her favorite shop, and if your still unsure just ask! We don't bite (unless you enjoy that sort of thing)

Finally we get to the personal gift and no I'm not talking vibrators and the likes, I'm talking about gifts that mean something, that show you care and that you  really know your woman. Gifts like photo albums of the two of ye or a cd or ipod album of her/yer favourite songs. A rare copy of her favorite book, ect. Each girl and gift is different and these are the best ones to give as they mean the most to us, will be something we love forever and will of course win ye the most points!

Sex and women

I'll let you in a secret. . .  Girls like sex!!!We like it as much as guys if not more! For us sex is not just sex we like to have an emotional connection too. We love the closeness that comes with sex, the utter trust you have in a person to see you naked, you can't hide those lumps and bumps, which are always shown at the worst angles during sex, the noises made, the faces during and upon climax. . .  all this comes with trust from girls it is a great experience to feel physically and emotionally connected with someone in such a raw and intimate way.

Now don't get me wrong sex isn't just about this, sometimes a girl just needs to have sex! There is something about having sex with a stranger  that just adds to the excitement, it is almost a part of foreplay in itself. There are two types of single girl- the girl who wants to have raw physical sex with no emotional attachment, this girl is usually hiding from some sort of emotional upset,- and then there is the single girl who doesn't want to have sex without feeling attached to the other person, though she may, and probably will kiss guys left right and center.

Sex is fun, or well it can be. It is something that girls like and enjoy as much as guys but we don't boast about it or feel the need to bring it up in a conversation, apart from with our close friends. We don't publicize or try to hide from this enjoyment yet it is broadcast that guys love sex. Well move over guys I am a girl and I publicly admit that I LOVE SEX!!! or rather GOOD SEX!!!

HOWEVER, just because we enjoy sex does not give you permission to slack off and stick to the same old tried and tested positions, we love change and surprises. Try showing some passion sometimes. Show us how much you want us you never know what you might get in return

So many people say that a relationship is hard work and that hard work reaps it's own rewards yet they never tell you about all the ups and downs of a relationship. When we are kids we dream of finding our Prince Charming and being whisked off our feet to live Happily Ever After. Then we grow up and start dating or if you live in Ireland start texting then meet up after a few weeks and then if ye still like each other you find yourself in a confusing state of are we or are we not a couple.

People never tell us as children that Disney leads to false impressions of love! As a friend once said "Disney is like porn for women" It is the emotional equivalent of porn, it feeds our desire to be loved and rescued. Yes, I admit it women want to be rescued, not in the literal sense but in the sense that we want to be saved from being lonely, though being lonely does not necessarily mean we are alone. Some women are alone in their relationship, they feel lost and abandoned, though we may still care for our partner, we can coast along waiting to be saved.

First Post!

So I decided to give thing blogging thing a go. I dunno maybe it will help to free up my mind or give someone a bit of entertainment. I find myself drawing a blank as I am sitting here. . . and let me tell you it is a first! Usually I can't stop talking.

Why do we find fault within our relationships rather than within ourselves? Here's a little history on my current relationship situation.

I have been seeing an ex of mine, we ended about 2 years ago because I was leaving the country for awhile, but when we got back together things were not as they seemed. When we were first together it seemed so easy and yet I asked myself the usual questions. . . Why haven't I met any of his friends yet? Why do we always hang out in his place? Is he ashamed of me? Am i the girl that you like but wouldn't see yourself with? Then things got complicated I realized I had strong feelings for a friend of mine and on a night out I ended up cheating  on this boyfriend, who I broke up with for this friend, lets call him Jack. Jack and I hung out in public, mostly on nights out, he even left his brothers second stag night because I was out in the town. Now Jack and I weren't an official couple even though we acted like one. But of course I was leaving so we parted ways and are still friends to this day and always will be.

I arrived back and over the years thought of this ex, we'll call him Liam, every so often thinking that if I had the chance I would go back again. Then one night out I ran into him and we got talking, had a little catch up and he told me he missed me then one thing led to another and I ended up back in his place, we talked for hours. We ended up getting back together but the feelings i have for Jack hadn't gone and in one night I ended up with him. Liam never found out but on a night he was out with friends I caught him cheating on me and ended it, he text a few days later falling over himself to apologize and i realized that I still liked him but I needed time to think if we could be together and what made it stick was waking up New Year's morning and knowing that Liam should have been beside me.

Needless to say we got back together, but things weren't right, something was up with Liam and I was determined to find out! A few months after we were back together Liam and I were still not right and it felt as if I were single so when a friend who I had secretly liked for long time, since before Liam, became newly single and made his move (there was a very strong chemistry between us from day one) I hesitated but enwt with with it. I confronted Liam about our relationship and he explained what was up and why he had been acting the way he was, as if i wasn't his girlfriend, that I was practically a stranger. They were legitimate enough but did not warrant the behavior I received. We had a talk and sorted things out but it took a lot for me to get to the stage where I confronted him. It took bad treatment then a random 4am text saying Love you! I mean what's a girl to think?

I know that I have done wrong as well and that maybe we shouldn't be together, but who is to say that I wont love him in time or that he will prove that what he says is real! I mean why not give it a chance? We only have one life to live and are only young once so why not live our lives they way we think! After all if it doesn't work out then it can be chocked down to experience and if it does. . .  well if it does then we have a very honest and random story to tell the grandkids!

Things will get a but more random from now on but I though if anyone is reading this I thought you should know my current situation, if no one is, well then I guess I have been talking to myself :P

Til next time. . . peace out! :D xxx