So I decided to give thing blogging thing a go. I dunno maybe it will help to free up my mind or give someone a bit of entertainment. I find myself drawing a blank as I am sitting here. . . and let me tell you it is a first! Usually I can't stop talking.
Why do we find fault within our relationships rather than within ourselves? Here's a little history on my current relationship situation.
I have been seeing an ex of mine, we ended about 2 years ago because I was leaving the country for awhile, but when we got back together things were not as they seemed. When we were first together it seemed so easy and yet I asked myself the usual questions. . . Why haven't I met any of his friends yet? Why do we always hang out in his place? Is he ashamed of me? Am i the girl that you like but wouldn't see yourself with? Then things got complicated I realized I had strong feelings for a friend of mine and on a night out I ended up cheating on this boyfriend, who I broke up with for this friend, lets call him Jack. Jack and I hung out in public, mostly on nights out, he even left his brothers second stag night because I was out in the town. Now Jack and I weren't an official couple even though we acted like one. But of course I was leaving so we parted ways and are still friends to this day and always will be.
I arrived back and over the years thought of this ex, we'll call him Liam, every so often thinking that if I had the chance I would go back again. Then one night out I ran into him and we got talking, had a little catch up and he told me he missed me then one thing led to another and I ended up back in his place, we talked for hours. We ended up getting back together but the feelings i have for Jack hadn't gone and in one night I ended up with him. Liam never found out but on a night he was out with friends I caught him cheating on me and ended it, he text a few days later falling over himself to apologize and i realized that I still liked him but I needed time to think if we could be together and what made it stick was waking up New Year's morning and knowing that Liam should have been beside me.
Needless to say we got back together, but things weren't right, something was up with Liam and I was determined to find out! A few months after we were back together Liam and I were still not right and it felt as if I were single so when a friend who I had secretly liked for long time, since before Liam, became newly single and made his move (there was a very strong chemistry between us from day one) I hesitated but enwt with with it. I confronted Liam about our relationship and he explained what was up and why he had been acting the way he was, as if i wasn't his girlfriend, that I was practically a stranger. They were legitimate enough but did not warrant the behavior I received. We had a talk and sorted things out but it took a lot for me to get to the stage where I confronted him. It took bad treatment then a random 4am text saying Love you! I mean what's a girl to think?
I know that I have done wrong as well and that maybe we shouldn't be together, but who is to say that I wont love him in time or that he will prove that what he says is real! I mean why not give it a chance? We only have one life to live and are only young once so why not live our lives they way we think! After all if it doesn't work out then it can be chocked down to experience and if it does. . . well if it does then we have a very honest and random story to tell the grandkids!
Things will get a but more random from now on but I though if anyone is reading this I thought you should know my current situation, if no one is, well then I guess I have been talking to myself :P
Til next time. . . peace out! :D xxx
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